So much time, so little motivation


It’s spring again and naturally it means I am down with some respiratory ailment. This time it’s bronchitis. Last year it was pneumonitis. Let’s just say while the rest of the world is breaking free of winter and its accompanying diseases, I come down with “the itis”.

Not that I’ve made use of any of my recovery time to blog, for which I am heartily sorry. I generally prefer to loll around in bed, demanding tea and various other remedies. The remainder of my energy goes towards watching bad movies on Lifetime (Gail O’Grady rocked in the last one I saw where the evil babysitter moved into her house and tried to steal her husband) and reading whatever I can get my hands on.

I’ll use the boost I just got from the Sucrets (PLUS Vitamin C and Zinc!) that Dan ran to Target to get me and catch everyone up on what’s been happening.

First, Chico passed away about two months ago.  We’re not sure what happened.  He just stopped eating again and I couldn’t even get him to eat when I attempted to force feed him.  We knew that wasn’t good and bless our vet’s soul, he even has office hours on Sundays if needed but Chico couldn’t hang on that long.  He passed away overnight.

Dan and I weren’t sure what to do with a deceased guinea pig.  We knew we couldn’t bury him in the yard because A) we rent our house and I’m sure our landlords wouldn’t appreciate it and B) our dog, Lucky, would most surely dig him up and bring him back into the house.  I’d love to have Chico back, just not that way.

My brother suggested Chico was about the size and shape of a small Nerf football and there is an open field behind our house so someone with a good arm could fling him pretty far into said field.  Substitute coyotes for Lucky and again, Chico’s “grave” would not have been secure.

I finally decided on cremation.  Unfortunately the pet crematory didn’t open until Monday so there was a full 24 hours where we didn’t know what to do with Chico.  He’d been placed in a shoebox, covered with tissue paper and even given a last carrot to keep him company.  But where to keep him?

We finally settled on the guest bathroom.  So that Lucky and Ellie couldn’t get to him.  All went well with this until I rather morbidly decided to take a peek at him in his shoebox.  And noticed the smell.  It wasn’t strong but it also wasn’t pleasant.  Dan was at work so I was on my own to come up with a solution.  I decided that I would wrap the shoebox in plastic grocery bags and put him in the fridge.  It was only for about 12 hours and I did warn Dan before he came home so he didn’t get a nasty surprise.

The following day I transported the dearly departed to the crematory.  It became a family affair when I had to get my mom to join me there because I’d forgotten my wallet AND my checkbook.  Luckily she was close by and came to my rescue and paid the $65 for the cremation.

I haven’t introduced you to my mom yet and she really deserves a post all her own so I’ll just tell you she is a take-charge kind of lady.  If she was forking over the money to pay for Chico’s cremation, she wanted to know how we could be certain we’d be getting only his ashes back.  I wasn’t in a position to argue so I meekly followed her and the nice man who owned the crematory to the back of the facility to see what all went on.

When I told the rest of my family about this, they were amused but not shocked.  It was so something my mother would do.  I guess I should be grateful that I get my innate curiosity from her but seeing the ovens at a crematory?  Something I could have done without.

While she was getting up close and personal with the workings of the ovens, I decided to have one last goodbye with Chico.  His shoebox was sitting on a cart close by so I lifted the lid and ugh!  The mixture of dead guinea pig and carrot somehow combined to create an odor not unlike coleslaw.

The tour ended, my mom and I went to lunch and I made the mistake of telling her about my final goodbye to Chico and the odor.  No, she wasn’t horrified.  She thought it was funny.  And called me a few days later to tell me she was making coleslaw and asked if I wanted some.

Yeah.  That’s my mom.

The Sucrets has worn off and I need to rest so you all will have to tune in for my next post, which I promise will be soon and catch you up on the rest of life as it happens to me.

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